FUNNY FACTS OF LIFE :
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
One should love animals, they are so tasty.
Success is a relative term ,It brings so many relatives.
Your future depends on your dreams , So go to sleep.
A dress is like a barbed fence, It protects the premises without restricting the view
No matter how tall a girl is, she would pee sitting.
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
WEIRD FUNNY FACTS:
Marilyn Monroe has 6 toes on her foot.
In the number of people posting marriage ads,35% are already married.
The darker the environment,the more frequent a cat’s passing urine times.
Arab women can initiate a divorce if their husbands don’t pour coffee for them.
The water that we drink into our body is already 3 billion years old.
A dairy cow can produce more milk when listening to music.
You can never lick your elbow with your tongue.
Polar bears are left-handers
Lice can jump over a distance 350 times longer than their bodies,equivalent to a human jumping over the length of a football stadium.
Tommy Lee Jones and America’s vice-president were roommates in Harvard.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
DID YOU KNOW?
Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little "stringy things" off of it. That's how the primates do it.
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simple chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yum
1.Reheat PizzaHeat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
2. Easy Deviled EggsPut cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
3. Expanding FrostingWhen you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
4. Reheating refrigerated breadTo warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
5. Newspaper weeds awayStart putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
6. Broken GlassUse a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
7. No More MosquitoesPlace a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
8. Squirrel Away!To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
9. Flexible vacuumTo get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
10. Reducing Static ClingPin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and -- ta da! -- static is gone.
11. Measuring CupsBefore you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
12. Foggy Windshield?Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
13. Reopening envelopeIf you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
14. ConditionerUse your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...
15. Goodbye Fruit FliesTo get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
16. Get Rid of AntsPut small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it"home," can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
17. INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERSThe heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.)He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like.Well,...the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free -- that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the bestway to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share! Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. Thewater ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water inthe mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it -- the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any pudding at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE. NOT ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE'S HOME, BUT IT COULD SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little "stringy things" off of it. That's how the primates do it.
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simple chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yum
1.Reheat PizzaHeat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
2. Easy Deviled EggsPut cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
3. Expanding FrostingWhen you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
4. Reheating refrigerated breadTo warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
5. Newspaper weeds awayStart putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
6. Broken GlassUse a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
7. No More MosquitoesPlace a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
8. Squirrel Away!To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
9. Flexible vacuumTo get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
10. Reducing Static ClingPin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and -- ta da! -- static is gone.
11. Measuring CupsBefore you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
12. Foggy Windshield?Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
13. Reopening envelopeIf you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
14. ConditionerUse your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...
15. Goodbye Fruit FliesTo get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
16. Get Rid of AntsPut small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it"home," can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
17. INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERSThe heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.)He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like.Well,...the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free -- that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the bestway to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share! Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. Thewater ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water inthe mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it -- the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any pudding at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE. NOT ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE'S HOME, BUT IT COULD SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
If a quiz is called a quizzical, then what do you call a test?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?
" What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
The easiest way to find something that's lost is to buy a replacement.
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
Why is a package transported in a car called shipment, but on a ship it's called cargo?
Why Didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
In York, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow (except on Sundays)
In France, a five year old child can buy an alcholic drink in a bar
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
On average,100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament buildings is an American flag.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.
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